CHERRYGRRL.COM INTERVIEW with Cathy DeBuono & Jill Bennett

“We Have to Stop Now” Takes a Funny and Unique Look at a Complex Couple

March 2, 2009 · Print This Article

“We Have to Stop Now” is a brand new web series about two lesbian therapists who are struggling to keep their romantic relationship together under some unique and challenging circumstances. The series stars two of the most popular out lesbian actors in entertainment today - Jill Bennett as “Kit” and Cathy DeBuono as “Dyna” - and brings viewers a truly original examination of what happens when you write a book with your partner about keeping a marriage together, then decide to get divorced, and then find out that the book became a best seller and a film crew wants to come into your home and document how perfect your relationship is. Combine all that with the high quality writing of Ann Noble, the superb directing of Robyn Dettman, a guest appearance by the hilarious Suzanne Westenhoefer, and the combined efforts of all the women behind Dynakit Productions (which includes the leading ladies), and you have the next best thing to hit the web.

Jill and Cathy recently took their time to talk to Cherry Grrl and fill us in on the production of their new series, their feelings about lesbians in Hollywood, their personal relationship with one another, and where we can find them next.

Cherry Grrl (CG): What can you tell us about your individual characters, Dyna and Kit?
Jill Bennett (JB): Kit is the more emotional of the two. She’s more open in some ways, more likely to forgive a social gaffe, more energetically based, a little more unpredictable.

Cathy DeBuono (CD): Dyna and Kit are good examples of opposites attracting. Yes, they are both therapists, which at first glance seems as if they may approach the world in similar ways. But they don’t, not at all… Dyna has set up more solid boundaries for herself in terms of what’s appropriate, which we all know actually means what she finds comfortable and the least scary. More grounded in the practical and the physical world than Kit, Dyna finds rules and protocol is the way to approach things. It keeps her safe on the inside. Kit is more likely to cry, more likely to approach things from her emotional “humanistic” center.Dyna finds this dangerous.

CG: What are the main issues within their relationship that brought them to the point of considering divorce when the series begins?
JB: They’ve reached that point in the relationship where their differences aren’t so charming and exciting anymore.

CD: I’d say it has a lot to do with what I described [about the characters]. In the beginning of a relationship polar opposite organizations can really draw people towards one another. Then there comes a time where you begin to encounter true challenges and each person is going to default to their comfort zone, their “safe” place. This can then make life with that polar opposite partner feel like you’re looking at a stranger. So what do you do? You realize that not everyone operates the way you do and loving them requires acceptance of that. Acceptance requires understanding, understanding requires communication… and this requires the willingness to expand outside of your comfort zone. Kit and Dyna have reached such an impasse.

CG: What attracted you each to the series and to the characters that you play?
CD: Jill and I love acting together, we have so much fun and truly spark parts of each other that make things interesting and different each time – so we always knew we wanted to do more ever since we filmed “And Then Came Lola.” Then there was the fact that Robyn Dettman (Director) and Ann Noble (creator/writer) were going to round out the team that we’d coagulate with and I admire both of their talents immensely.

When we all sat down to expand on Ann’s original premise, we decided to play with the actual dynamic of our real life selves. Essentially, Kit (played by Jill) is more organized psychologically like I am and Dyna (played by myself) is more like Jill. It was very interesting to adopt words I’ve heard Jill say and make them my own - as well as watch her have to do the same with mine. There is more to each character than just that one concept of course, and there is plenty about them that is neither Jill nor myself. But taking on such an opposite perspective to relationships than your instinct leads you to do is exciting.

JB: It was very simple for me – I wanted to work with this group of women and the story was interesting.

CG: What were the benefits of taking We Have to Stop Now to the web as opposed to television?
JB: Television is fantastic – if you can convince a network to do it. I had spent the previous year pitching projects to the networks, and they simply take forever to do anything. Months and months pass between meetings, and they are more reluctant than ever to do scripted programming because it’s more expensive than reality. They don’t want to take chances anymore, which frankly is why there is a dearth of programming for us. They’d rather turn out low quality cheaply made reality shows and turn a modest profit than take the plunge and create the next “Cheers.” It’s really too bad and very short-sided.Taking it to the web allows us to have control and to get it out there for everyone to see.

CD: That’s easy. We got to say yes to ourselves. We could see clearly our vision for these characters as well as what this show can do in terms of breaking the stereotypical mold of gay entertainment. The business of creating programming for television requires a lot of convincing, and a lot of waiting for someone else to give you the permission to move forward. When you truly have something to offer that you believe in, at some point, you reach the day when you say – let’s just do this thing.

CG: There are several hysterical videos on jillbennett.com that give us behind the scenes glimpses during filming. What was the atmosphere like on set?
JB: Frantic but fun.We took on an enormous job and still managed to enjoy the process. I’m hoping we’ll have a proper crew next time…it would make it even more enjoyable. Worrying about your props, costumes, and continuity is difficult enough, but trying to act and produce on top of all that is next to impossible!

CD: Fantastic.We (the folks of Dynakit Productions) have a great amount of admiration for each other’s talents. This yields an environment where no one is trying to control outcomes. Everyone was very open to allowing the talent around them to have room to do what it does and to offer its originality. Also, we are a company made up of four women who are truly friends as well as creative partners and we allow space to be human, and wrap our attentions around that when required. That goes an immensely long way to creating a safe environment to take risks in. We had phenomenal guest actors too! Every single one of them delightfully impressed us. It was like an actor’s amusement park!

CG: You have both had success in the world of lesbian entertainment but many still feel that there are few roles for lesbian actors and even fewer shows and movies portraying LGBT individuals. How do you each feel about this issue and the current atmosphere in the industry as it pertains to the gay and lesbian community?
JB: My previous answer about the gay networks applies here…All I will add to it is that I’m going to keep making content myself. Hopefully, more funding will come through and the production quality will improve, but either way, I plan to keep going. Hopefully one day someone will have the courage and foresight to roll the dice on another scripted gay series.

CD: This is a question that comes up a lot. I think I’ve reached a place where I don’t feel too much about it at all. It doesn’t surprise me anymore. I am astounded that there hasn’t been more ground breaking more profound programming made that involves gay characters – especially since there are more gay people than ever producing it. But that’s greatly what’s inspired us to just do it ourselves.We may lack the most optimum sound quality in some moments or the lighting could have been better at times – but I honestly feel the content we are offering makes up for our lack of big budget beauty. And I believe most viewers will feel the same way.

CG: When did you each realize that you wanted to get into acting?
JB: When I was 16. I considered other careers, but realized this path was what I truly wanted.

CD: When I was a child. My sisters and cousins and I would do “plays of the week,” which really only happened every once in a while but I loved it.

CG: Did either of you ever conceal that you were gay because of a fear that it would prevent you from succeeding in the industry and if so what changed that for you?
JB: I never concealed anything, against the advice of my managers and agents! Interesting that most of them have since left the industry and I’m still here…which leads me to believe that being true to who you are is always the best path to take.

CD: I don’t recall ever concealing it honestly. I didn’t walk around announcing it, but I was always open about it whenever the subject of dating or a significant other would come up.Was I concerned it may limit my opportunities? Sure, but I have never been willing to compromise my humanity for business, life is too short.

CG: Do each of you have a favorite role that you have played so far in your career or a particular project that has been special to you?
JB: My favorite role was actually in a staged production of Shakespeare’s “Timon of Athens.” It’s one of his more obscure plays, but I did a really successful run at a small theatre here in Los Angeles about 10 years ago. I played the role of Apemantus, a role that was originally written for a man.We won a million awards for it and my friend Jon Hamm (of Mad Men fame) was one of the other leads. I was really proud of the show and my work in it.I love Shakespeare and actually feel like I’m much better on stage than on screen.

CD: I really loved playing Risa in Out at the Wedding. Risa was a character that’s gay – but the story isn’t about her coming out, or being the big ole dyke, or making lesbo jokes. Risa’s story was about being human and falling in love when she least expected it. But honestly, I can not wait to get deeper into Dyna’s world.

CG: You have great chemistry on screen together. Are you now or were you ever a real life couple?
CD: Yes, we are a real life couple. We don’t train a spotlight on it, but it’s not a secret.

CG: Aside from acting and producing, what are some of your hobbies and other areas of interest?
JB: I’m a poker fiend. I would play every day if I could get my friends to join! I also love cooking and travelling.

CD: Crocheting, baking pies, and flower arrangement… AH ha! Just kidding…. Could you picture any of that? Actually – if I had the patience to clean my kitchen I would bake more pies…

I love riding my motorcycle, cuddling with my animals, and being silly with my girlfriend… Seriously, we do hand puppet lip synching, muppet re-enactments, we laugh a lot. Human contact in that authentic and vulnerable way is very important to me, so any time spent celebrating those relationships in my life is where I like to be. It makes the difference between life in theory and life in practice.

CG: It has been reported that neither of you are natives of the LA area – that Jill you are from Indiana and Cathy from New York – how have you each acclimated to LA and the Hollywood scene?
JB: I love it here for the weather and the liberal state of mind. It’s a bit cut throat on the Hollywood side of things, and there seems to be a high concentration of sociopaths here, but I’ve found a good solid group of friends that keep me out of the craziness.

CD: I love the mountains, the beach, the city, the sunshine… I have lived here for almost 14 years and I love it. The Hollywood “scene”…I can appreciate it for what it’s worth, have fun with it at times – but your real life isn’t going to happen there at all. The sooner one realizes that, the better.

CG: What are some other projects that you are each working on? Where can fans see you next?
CD: Well, the feature we did together, And Then Came Lola, will be released at festivals this year. The romantic comedy I did, Out at the Wedding was just released on DVD this week. We both do video blogs. Mine is called “What’s Your Problem?” and combines the fact that I have a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology with my being an actor. It’s a fun on camera advice show where a guest and myself will drink glass of wine and give advice to viewers on the letters they’ve written me. Visit www.CathyDeBuono.com for more info about any of this stuff.

JB: My vlog is called “The Violet Underground” and I cover pretty much anything that interests me or is timely. The best place to keep up is at my website where the series lives – www.jillbennett.com.

CG: We are now a few episodes into We Have to Stop Now - is there anything you can tell us about the upcoming episodes and what to expect?
JB: I’m really looking forward to seeing the season unfold.We have some funny moments, and some painful moments too. I think people will be surprised…

CD: Hmmm, I referain from answering this question on the grounds that my partners of Dynakit Productions might kick my ass. I’ll just say I can’t wait to see ‘em!

CG: Will there be a season 2?
JB: We are planning for one.

CD: When there is money for it, absolutely. And folks can help us make that happen by donating through the PayPal they can easily click at the site. But yeah, Dyna and Kit have a lot more life to live out. We can hardly contain ourselves when we brainstorm about their character arches and experiences.